Checklist of being a Man in a relationship

Wow, there is a checklist for this too! This will be interesting for those who want to mainatin their "menhood" in a relationship ...read on!

This post originally started as a response to a forum post, but I thought it should probably get some airing on here too. So here it is: a super quick, bullet point list on how not to loose your masculinity in a relationship.

1. Keep working on yourself until you are the perfect guy on paper. Have a good job, nice place, etc. You want her to think “my boyfriend is awesome”. Great fashion, be well kept. Keep working on your confidence, status, social skills.
2. Compliment her when she needs it. Be nice.
3. Equally, don’t be a pussy. Still tease, poke fun, and be unpredictable.
4. Be busy in your life. Have hobbies, have friends, do things. Some of these fun things, bring her into – i.e. do fun stuff with her. Some of these fun things, don’t bring her into. All relationships need some space. Basically don’t need her around to have a good time. You should be the source of the fun, don’t expect it from her. In some ways this is part of the first bullet point.
5. Have great sex. Have great sex in random places. Learn to be the best in bed she will ever experience. Do every position in the karma sutra. Be a sexy guy. Start texting her what you’re going to do to her when she’s still at work. Then when she gets home, actually do that to her.
6. Have a mission, a purpose. Be going somewhere in your life and career. Be driven.
7. Connect with her deeply. Don’t be weak, but do talk about your feelings.
8. Meet her parents/family and make a very good impression.
9. Be with her because you want to be with her, not because you need anything from her.
10. In her mind, let her think that if she broke up with you, then you could get another girlfriend. This is done mainly with all the above, don’t try to drop a load of hints about other girls strategically.
11. Be responsible. Generally. Let her see you looking out for your friends, family, etc. If something goes wrong, fix it. This means everything from helping diffuse a fight down the pub, to buying a DIY book and fixing her leaky tap.
12. Respect her. Do not put her down.
13. Have strong boundaries. If she oversteps the line, tell her straight. Don’t move on your deal breakers. Just because you’re in a relationship, does not mean you can be a little bitch – she’ll loose attraction and leave your ass.
14. Special situation: If she is flirting with another guy. This does happen. The first time, take her aside the next day and calmy let her know it was out of line. If you’ve done it right, it’ll never happen again unless she’s pissed at you. If she does do it again, tell her it’s out of line in front of all her friends and the guy she’s flirting with. If she does it a third time, dump her. She doesn’t respect you.

(I bet everyone has heard that old advice of doing the same as she is doing to you by finding some girls and flirting with them (i.e. the fight fire with fire approach). I’d love to know where this advice came from, because it’s the worst advice I’ve had the misfortune to try out. It doesn’t work in a relationship at all – it just leads to fights and her getting emotional. And it gives her ammunition to fire at you. Let me save you the huge arguments and say just don’t try it.